all i wanna do is whine, so hear me out...

I'm easily bored these days. After finishing STPM, my life has turned into a complete boredom. Sometimes, I do get frustrated by being bored but most of the times, it doesn't bother me that much. Yet, I find myself as a complete useless person. The question is WHY? My routine everyday : sleep when everybody at work/school and wake when they come back from work/school, watch tv, playing with my cats, listening to music & do some photo editing. That's it. Nothing more or interesting. If I drive, I will spend most my time outside but thanks to my dad, I'm stuck here. He still not willing to let me drive. He had some issues with my driving skills which he doubts it pretty much. He thinks I just gonna run over anything on the road. *sigh

He just let me drive once. ONCE. Which to me doesn't count at all as driving. He freaked out & yelled at me to drive straight. I was driving it straight and I wasn't over borders or lines. After that, he will say this everytime I ask him to lend me the car, "take the bus and don't be such a spoiled brat". DUDE, I AIN'T GONNA TAKE THE BUS. NEVER!!! Public transportations are the worst to get by from place to place. Why? They sucks. The fare is unreasonable high especially for taxis. I guess right now it will cost me around RM20-RM22 from Centre Point to my house. It's expensive like hell. For the bus, I have to switch at least 3 buses before arriving to the downtown area. CRAZY. Plus, I feel unsafe to take the bus. So many so-called-potential-criminals riding the bus with me. I know it sounds like I'm kinda prejudice but I can't help it. They give me this kind of look that really creeps me out. I took the bus once all myself and everytime I sensed danger. Yeah, now I sounded like a complete psychotic. I fear the bus and all the public transportation. I will take it if I have friends with me but if I'm alone, na'ah. 

I need to get away from this place, to somewhere, where no one can find me, to bother me with useless craps and anything annoying coz I'm easily annoyed. So, don't ever find me. Find me when you wanna talk something sensible or important. I really find it bothersome when people find me just to talk about stuff that doesn't concern me or something that they can simply solve it by themselves. I know they really need the guide but when they bother me at the wrong time, I vexed. Sorry to say it but please do annoy me at the right time so I shall not hold anything against you. I'm not the kind who will bother people with my problems and all my whining and let them hear it until their ear bleeds or something. I'm not pleased if you will do the same to me. I know I got this words-of-wisdom-kinda-vibe but that doesn't mean you can abuse me at anytime you want. Sometimes, I do run out of ideas to help. So, I need to "revive" before I can feed you with the words of wisdom. It's not that I don't wanna help but the timing is just wrong. Even so, I will still help as best as I can despite the wrong timing. I just want you guys to understand that I need some alone time, when I don't really wanna be bother by anything. Tell me later. I'll listen and help.

Another one more thing that bothers me. Why people become so easily discouraged these days? Where your faith? Hopes for the future? I know you probably say "I can't help it..." Okay, since you can't help being discouraged, I, can't help being annoyed by you. I tried my best to help and make you feel better but all you can give me is negative feedback. Dude, once you exude the negativity, I feed up on your negativity and be miserable for a change. It's infectious. I'm like a sponge. I absorb anything. I feel tired sometimes after that. People just don't realize this. The best way is to focus on the positivity. I know no one can be absolutely 100% positive with their smile on the face all the time but if you always be so negative about everything, people may find it repulsive. The key to happiness is not to seek it but to embrace whatsoever shits that happened to you and except the fact that it is a part or phase of life that you have to go through. You may find it tough to accept but in times, you will. Be strong. Live everyday like it's your last day. Don't waste anything. Those bitches will never leave you coz in fact, they are everywhere just with different faces. Life will be so colorless, dull and plain boring if there is no drama, obstacles to go through and challenges. Life will never progress. Human never progress. We will never evolve and learn things about life. So, what's the use of having brain then? It will be pointless. God likes to challenge us coz he want us to evolve to a better person and he doesn't want us to a robot instead. That's why he gave us brains to think, lungs to breathe, hands to work with, legs to walk for miles, eyes to see how beautiful the world he had created, ears to listen to soothing sounds that put you to sleep. Everything has it own purpose, works in it's own way that many of us find it questionable sometimes. But no matter how hard life gets, remember that whatever he created are all for you. You are his top priority. 

Be happy and fuck life. 

Hahaha~ I don't have any idea what I've just written. I don't know if it's bring any sensible value to it either. LoL