God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny. - Garrison Keillor

Friday, February 26, 2010

Two is enough. No more, okay?

I don't know why tears keep on pouring. I don't know why I am like these. I tried to as positive as I can be but there's always something will rub more salt on my wounds. I'm not like this usually. But these things had affected me greatly. There are two worst news I got this week. TWO.

First, I failed 3 subjects for STPM. I think I'm the only LOSER there. I'm really, really, really disappointed in myself. I don't know how I can make up for all my mistakes. Frankly, I AM NOT OKAY. This thing really hit me big. I feel like it's not worth living if I keep on making these mistakes. I know that my parents are the ones who should feel this way. I know I really, really let them down this time. There's no single thing that can make it sounded good again. I feel worst. I was totally shocked when I saw the result. The whole world just collapsed. People around me were far better than me. The worst feeling ever. EVER. I hope that there will be some miracles. Right now, all I want do is cry. I know you guys are really trying to help me to get through this and I thank you but all I want to do is cry. Let me cry. I didn't blame God for what'd happened. But I want to ask you, God what makes me deserve all these? Is it another test? Another game of life? Well, I sucked at playing it. Your worst player ever. I just wanna sleep forever. To sleep away this thing. It crushed me. I feel weak. 

Secondly, 2PM continue without their leader, Park Jaebeom. Thanks a lot, Jay. You just make the whole thing worst. I don't know why I'm blaming you but you just add another fucked up news for me. Yeah, I am fan you. Not so hardcore one, but this news just makes me want to cry more. In someways I felt that it's a selfish decision. But who am I to judge? If you want to leave, then leave. Stop from appearing anywhere at this moment. I wish you the best of luck. 

At this point, I'm at a vulnerable state. I can cry for almost everything, so I would be please if you guys just don't do anything or tell me anything that surely gonna make me cry. Thank you.

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